Surgery Update, v000A

Okay, so it's almost been two weeks now. Today is the first day that I actually feel "normal", although my nose is still hurting, the swelling has gone down enough now that it just feels like a broken nose. I am starting to breathe normally, and getting nasal drainage, in fact you should of seen the thing I got when I blew my nose this morning... Wow! It was like the size of my thumb, the colors were really interesting, and the taste was... well nevermind.

I am still a little leery about dancing with any dips or arm up moves, but that should go away soon enough.

News Flash - Fox Appoints Self To Investigate Henhouse disappearance

So, President Bush is going to investigate gasoline price gouging. Uh huh.

Making Tall Grass Short

Don't tell my surgeon or doctor, but I cut the back lawn this afternoon. I took it easy, and had a pretty big break halfway through, but I did it just fine. I really expected my recovery to take four to six weeks, not four to six days. Right now I feel somewhere between having an average cold and a mild sinus infection. Medical science is amazing.

Maybe I'll try the front lawn tomorrow.

Oh, Does This Mean Me, Too?

Crap! I have my prayers written out on a piece of paper next to my bed. It's a kind of checklist to make sure that i consistently pray for the things I want to pray for. Straight out prayer isn't what I call a conversation with God, it's more of a mental review, probably more for my benefit, of what my philosophy is and what the direction I want to be heading in, along with a plea for God's help with it.

This doesn't mean that God won't insert the occasional comment.

Part of my prayers asks for reconciliation between God and His enemies and me and my enemies. Mostly I tend to concentrate on the big picture, and not on myself. Not today. While I was praying I decidedly heard God telling me this applied to me also, and my feelings towards the person whom I would currently call my enemy.

Arg! Our God is not one to deal in untruths. One that I like is the "I want that to apply to everyone else, not me" untruth. The Golden Rule can cut both ways.

I realize that peace is different than daily involvement or having this person as a best friend, still, I don't even know if I want that.

Surgery Update, v0009

Okay! I am doing fine... in fact much much better than I expected I would be doing. It is much more irritating than painful to have a nose full of snot and no real way to get rid of it, and I haven't even touched the good drugs in days. I was thinking of trying cut the lawn today, um, the back lawn, we'll see how that goes.

Surgery Update, v0008

I got the packing out yesterday. It was not as bad as I thought / heard. They pulled out a long, thick piece of cotton out of each nostril and suddenly I could breathe through my nose again. There is still a splint and another piece of packing somewhere in my nasal cavity, they come out next Monday.

So far the worst part of this by far has been how sore my muscles are. Mae pointed out that this was probably from the anesthesia, and not from how I slept. She also said she couldn't get over how much straighter my nose was. I'm not sure I see it yet.

Thanks again to all the helpers, callers, visitors, and well wishers.

Surgery Update, v0007

i am still feeling better than i thought i would be, i've only taken tylenol today... for my sore back, tummy, and legs (from having to sleep sitting up). we will see how i feel when they pull the packing out.

that whole thing about not sneezing... i think i'm up to nine now.

in a VERY related note: my friends rock! thank you all for your calls, well wishes, and especially those of you who helped out so far: schmendrick, rocknrobin, mae, spanky, and viv.

Surgery Update, v0006

Look! I made it through!

It wasn't so bad as I thought it might be.

Last Minute Surgery Update, v0005

Okay, so we are just eight hours away now. I am pretty calm about the whole thing, excited you might say... that's because the pain hasn't begun yet.

I left some instructions sitting on the kitchen counter and in the bedroom. All are welcome to visit me, and I'll try to update as I can/feel like it.

Oh, because of Mae's "car troubles", people to watch me may be a little sparse tomorrow afternoon. Please feel free to drop in. You can call me or Kevin for directions. I do not promise to be good company, so please bring a book or dvd.

Having Faith?

I have noticed another head shaking change in my life lately, this one may be the oddest change I have experienced since (re)beginning of my relationship with God. So odd, I am not sure if I will be able to write this well.

It is true I am a fairly visual person, and I would still say I am. All of a sudden, I have no need to 'see' things.

I used to have to go and LOOK and make sure I did something, like make sure I closed the backdoor, or if something made a noise behind me, I would have to LOOK and see, even if I knew it was my dog moving around on the couch five feet behind me. I would have called this "my most OCD" character trait.

I am unsure how to translate this sudden change.

One way I have been looking at it is that I am finally able to trust myself, I don't need to doublecheck all of my work, I don't need to micromanage my inner children, I can just let myself go and let my memory serve me... yes, I shut off the computer, I remember doing it two minutes ago, I don't need to get up and check again. It seems as though there may be more to it, but it's just not processed through yet.

Ice Cream!

I couldn't wait... I bet you all knew that anyways. As soon as the sun rose this morning, I took a break from my busy *yawn* day at work, and I went down to the local grocery store and grabbed one pint of Edy's Grand Butter Pecan ice cream. Having never made it through Lent before with giving something up, I was ecstatic to complete this mission.

It was just as good as I remembered it, maybe better. If you need to ask if there was any left over, you just don't understand me.

7 on

I am now doing my first full week of 7 on now. I really thought I was going to be much smarter about getting enough sleep. I didn't on Monday night, falling asleep after 11pm. Then Tuesday night I hung out with Viv until after 9pm. Then last night I went to Troy and Merinda's until after 9pm also. This weekend isn't looking any better either. I have been pretty constant in saying that I need 8-9 hours sleep. Which, now would require me to be asleep around 8pm, getting up around 4:15. Right now I am subsisting on 6ish, plus the afternoon nap. Tonight I came home and crashed, no food, no anything, I was just plain out for about 2 hours. Then I got up and went shopping.

I have been a wild man lately, spending money on a new hat, a new pair of sunglasses, four new tumblers for summer drinks, and not one, but two pair of sandals. Will this madness ever end? I mean I've spent almost $40! Who knew I could?

Somehow in all my planning for work & surgery & holidays... I missed having to cut my lawn. I hope I feel well enough to do it by the end of next week, it will be pretty nappy looking if it goes much longer than that.

Thanks to Beckstraordinary & her sister, Ms Smoothie for some tasty treats last night at T&M's. It's the closest I've come to ice cream during lent.... mmmm.

Surgery Update, part 0004 --- um, sort of

• When: 6:00pm Monday, April 17th
• Where: Culvers in Bellevue, in the Twin Creek Theatre Plaza
• Why: Two reasons, actually. I gave up ice cream for Lent, and Monday the 17th will be the day after Easter and I can eat ice cream all I want. Also, the following morning is my surgery, so it might be the last chance anyone gets to see me at my best for quite a few weeks. This will give you the opportunity to get your digs in then, because, how much enjoyment will you really get out of making fun of someone with six pounds of cotton gauze stuffed in his nose?
• Directions: South on 75 to Offutt AFB / 370. Turn right (west) on 370, turn right, (north) on 36th St, it will be on your left at the second light. Map here.
• Bonus: Flavor of the day: Chocolate Raspberry. MMMM.
  

Death or Resurrection

I know many Christians are enamored with Easter Sunday; thinking Jesus rising from the tomb, and defeating death to be the primary event of the upcoming holy week, if not the entire year. Although I realize this promise of eternal life is important for many, it doesn't hold as significant a place for me as the events of Thursday and Friday do for me.

I don't feel I have much room to consider myself worthy of God's Kingdom. With my struggles with my twisted sexuality, big ego, and joys of the world, I know there are many out there who would condemn me, and perhaps with good reason, without too much of a second thought. I suffer from no misconceptions about what part I would play if I had been there the Thursday night when Jesus was abandoned and betrayed, I would have run off too, perhaps weeping in bitterness as Peter did with the sounding of simple chicken. I would have allowed myself to be convinced by the established religious leaders to condemn Him, thus participating in his betrayal. At the very least I would have stood by in silence at the injustice of the Savior tortured and humiliated. That would have been my choice.

But it was not His: "...forgive them, Father, for they no not what they do..." It goes even further, the Christ, the perfect one, took my well deserved place of being tortured and abused, by choice. The King who gave His earthly life, that I might have an eternal one.

I do not pretend to understand why God chose to have His love play out like this, but it was His thought of me while He was nailed to the cross which plays out repeatedly in my mind. I will not be sacrificed, because He was.

ARG! Technology Defeats Me Again!

I must be the poster child for technological stupidity. I use on-line bill-pay. I went to make my car payment last month, and entered the amount in the wrong field, and sent it off, blissfully unaware of my mistake. I am sure the other company appreciated the extra money, but they aren't going to give it back. So guess who is going to be behind on his car payment for the next few months? Arg - and not in a piratey kind of way.

Monique, plan my parties!

Monique has the best impromptu ideas. I am sitting at home goofing off, figuring I am in for the evening, and *ring ring*, I pick up the phone to "karaoke karaoke karaoke". She says "invite friends", so I invited LeeAnn & Amy who were over so LeeAnn could borrow my Village People costume. When I showed up, Viv, Becky, Greg, Ben, and Monique were already there, then LeeAnn and Amy showed up with some guy, then Kevin. Only Greg & Monique sang, but it was fun.

LeeAnn & Amy enjoying the dancing.

Movie

Does this count as a real movie? I went and saw "Magnificent Desolation (in 3D)" at the IMAX.

seven on / SEVEN OFF

So, I am on day five of my first seven day off period of my new schedule. This schedule is very ideal for me, because it kind of has built in 'me'/'alone' time... I need that, but I am often not good at getting it. This would also be my first extended, non-sick time off since Cowtown last year.

It feels good.

What have I done with this time? Nothing. I have been grungy and lazy. I left the house pretty much twice. The house got clean, the yard picked up, a few things fixed, but only because I have been bored with doing nothing. Every so often it is a good thing to spend time alone, relax and regroup the old mind.

28% Dixie. You are a Yankee Doodle Dandy.

http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html

I generally don't think much of being a "yankee" or a "reb", I am just a simple midwestern boy.

Surgery Update, part 0003

I've decided to get a sex change with my sinus surgery... April Fools!

Surgery is now in sight, so some more planning is in order. Here is the schedule:

0530 4/18 - be at hospital - Kevin has been volunteered to drive me.
0730ish 4/18 - surgery starts
0930ish 4/18 - surgery ends
1000ish 4/18 - go home - Sarah has said she could pick me up and take me home.
rest of 4/18 morning -
4/18 afternoon -
4/18 evening -
4/19 morning -
4/19 afternoon - go to CB to have packing removed - Mae is planning on doing this.
4/19 evening -

Thank you so much to all who have volunteered, my friends, you continue to amaze me with your generosity and warmth. It would be appreciated if I could have someone with me at the open times on the above schedule. I'll have the house clean, cable TV, computer, and a DVD player available... but no promise that I will be any company what-so-ever... and the rest of the story below:

4/21 JNO - I'll be working the front desk (if I am not horribly disfigured)
4/22-23 - working desk for Kim & David's workshops.
4/25 back to work
4/30 JNO - will work front desk until 0930-1000.
5/07 JNO - I can dance again!
6/01 - this is full recovery date!