Actually this one is pretty much all title, no content, kind of like a Schwartzneger movie. Miriam suggested the title (sort of) but it kind of relates to work today.
I wasn't hungry all day long, finally around 2:00 pm I started to get kind of dizzy and nauseous. Kara-bean and Rhonda were telling me to "go eat!" so I did, and then I felt better.
Somewhere in here I could probably learn some lesson... if I could only figure it out.
28 March 2005
24 March 2005
Stubborn
Cheese and rice I am stubborn, or at least a part of me is. I want to go to church, I think that church is good for me, i believe that life is lived best through community, rituals, and cycles, and yet here I sit on the Thursday before Easter and I have dug my heels in, stubbornly, and I am not going to go even though church starts in 30 minutes, and I have nothing else to do.
I have had way too much happen in my life to afford myself the luxury of debating the existence of God. For me God is fact. I believe the story of Jesus, it is frighteningly real to me, I suffer few delusions about my being 'good' or 'worthy', I know that when I stand before God for judgment, I will have no complaints if I am to be condemned. I know it can easily be me tortured, humiliated, and nailed on a cross... but someone has taken my place.
The mere contemplation of the Supreme allowing himself to become a human is mind boggling. God, 8 pounds 4 ounces, 19 1/4 inches, born to a carpenter and a maiden in a barn... nursing on Mary's breasts, helpless, and utterly relying on others. This is power? No, it is to be able to say to us that yes, God knows what we go through, what we are tempted by.
Did Jesus the man know the temptation of denying the Omnipotent?
Then at the other end of his life as a human. Completely aware of what would occur, yet setting aside all human aspirations for power, comfort, and desire, and setting us free from whatever binds us... now or ever after. Only God's love could be so contrary to any sort of human logic.
Many know my struggle with dogma vs. karma. Perhaps I would replace the word karma with grace (for my own convenience), I believe that grace is where I live and breathe and love and learn. Yet some of the greatest human minds EVER have poured their lives into prayerful contemplation of what should and shouldn't be done, yes, I know ever person has their slant, but out of respect, I think it important to contemplate and consider what the church says to be right and wrong.
Regardless of all these words, I am not at church, and I am still stubbornly refusing to show, through my actions, respect for the One who made me, and could unmake me ... and THAT is what ought to frighten me.
I have had way too much happen in my life to afford myself the luxury of debating the existence of God. For me God is fact. I believe the story of Jesus, it is frighteningly real to me, I suffer few delusions about my being 'good' or 'worthy', I know that when I stand before God for judgment, I will have no complaints if I am to be condemned. I know it can easily be me tortured, humiliated, and nailed on a cross... but someone has taken my place.
The mere contemplation of the Supreme allowing himself to become a human is mind boggling. God, 8 pounds 4 ounces, 19 1/4 inches, born to a carpenter and a maiden in a barn... nursing on Mary's breasts, helpless, and utterly relying on others. This is power? No, it is to be able to say to us that yes, God knows what we go through, what we are tempted by.
Did Jesus the man know the temptation of denying the Omnipotent?
Then at the other end of his life as a human. Completely aware of what would occur, yet setting aside all human aspirations for power, comfort, and desire, and setting us free from whatever binds us... now or ever after. Only God's love could be so contrary to any sort of human logic.
Many know my struggle with dogma vs. karma. Perhaps I would replace the word karma with grace (for my own convenience), I believe that grace is where I live and breathe and love and learn. Yet some of the greatest human minds EVER have poured their lives into prayerful contemplation of what should and shouldn't be done, yes, I know ever person has their slant, but out of respect, I think it important to contemplate and consider what the church says to be right and wrong.
Regardless of all these words, I am not at church, and I am still stubbornly refusing to show, through my actions, respect for the One who made me, and could unmake me ... and THAT is what ought to frighten me.
22 March 2005
Did I Really Volunteer
Yes, ladies and gentlemen who actually waste your valuable time reading my virtual rag... I volunteered to host an Easter Dinner. What am I thinking... I must be even crazier than I thought possible. I already have one commit, and one maybe could be, and I posted it on the Jitterbugs forum, so I'm in now, so all that's left is burning the food and going nuts.
I do remember what it was like to be far away from home when I was in the military over a holiday, and although they always tried to make the chow hall and the meal a pleasant experience, there was nothing quite like being over at someone's home... no matter how bad the cooking, and usually mine is not that bad. Keep watching this space to find out how many times the fire department showed up.
I do remember what it was like to be far away from home when I was in the military over a holiday, and although they always tried to make the chow hall and the meal a pleasant experience, there was nothing quite like being over at someone's home... no matter how bad the cooking, and usually mine is not that bad. Keep watching this space to find out how many times the fire department showed up.
18 March 2005
Micheal Schiavo, Spineless Wimp
An open letter to Michael Schiavo, and I am NOT encouraging or approving of murder in this post.
Michael Schiavo you are a spineless wimp. I don't know how else to say this. (CNN coverage of story). Your story is an unfortunate one from any angle, brain damaged wife, who can only eat and drink via tube, you say that she would not want it to be this way. I believe this. I would not ever want to be in your position concerning a loved one.
But Mr Schiavo, if you believe in your conviction that your wife would be better off dead, why are the courts involved? You have had ample opportunity to make this so. Do you somehow feel by getting the state to pull her feeding tube that your hand will be free of any blood? Someone else doing your dirty work is just as wrong as doing it yourself.
What I read is that you have spent the last eight years engaging the courts. If what you believe is that Terri is suffering, either physically or through indignation to the point that she shouldn't be alive, and you have left her suffering for these eight years while you walk freely. Isn't that your point? You value your freedom more than any feelings of right or wrong in this situation.
I'm not in your shoes Mr. Schiavo, but if you had the courage to do what you say is right, you would have taken matters into your own hands. Your actions, or inactions say that you have no conviction about Terri living or dying, it is merely a matter of convenience to you for her to be gone.
Michael Schiavo you are a spineless wimp. I don't know how else to say this. (CNN coverage of story). Your story is an unfortunate one from any angle, brain damaged wife, who can only eat and drink via tube, you say that she would not want it to be this way. I believe this. I would not ever want to be in your position concerning a loved one.
But Mr Schiavo, if you believe in your conviction that your wife would be better off dead, why are the courts involved? You have had ample opportunity to make this so. Do you somehow feel by getting the state to pull her feeding tube that your hand will be free of any blood? Someone else doing your dirty work is just as wrong as doing it yourself.
What I read is that you have spent the last eight years engaging the courts. If what you believe is that Terri is suffering, either physically or through indignation to the point that she shouldn't be alive, and you have left her suffering for these eight years while you walk freely. Isn't that your point? You value your freedom more than any feelings of right or wrong in this situation.
I'm not in your shoes Mr. Schiavo, but if you had the courage to do what you say is right, you would have taken matters into your own hands. Your actions, or inactions say that you have no conviction about Terri living or dying, it is merely a matter of convenience to you for her to be gone.
What To Post
Okay, I admit it, I have zero to say... but that never stopped me from talking before, I doubt it will now. I did okay on the first day of the tourney, my bracket was 13/16. I only have one bet this year, with Kara for dinner next time the work group goes out. More amazingly, all of my sweet 16 teams are still left. Today will be the day though, I have three upsets predicted today, and one is a sweet 16 team. Of course I'll be at the dance when my Salukis play, so I won't be able to see them kick a little St Mary's butt.
update at 16:15... so I can't read a schedule. We played at 2:00pm and won already... naturally. Next victim, Oklahoma State on Sunday.
update at 16:15... so I can't read a schedule. We played at 2:00pm and won already... naturally. Next victim, Oklahoma State on Sunday.
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