The Ballad of the Undead Possum (new song)

There will be no back story to this one on account it is going to get me hit anyways.

The Ballad of the Undead Possum
a bar song style ditty based on grossly exaggerated true events

I was doing my dishes, out the window I saw,
this abomination, about the size of cow.
It headed for my house, and don't you know,
it went right underneath, into this hole.

I called my friend and got him on the phone,
I described the monstrosity under my home,
it's ugliness and size, I exaggerated none,
he said no need to worry, it's a harmless possum.

(chorus)
There's an undead opossum living in my home,
it's got me quite spooked and I'm afraid to roam,
so I sit in my kitchen, silver cross in my hand,
with wooden stakes and garlic, I'll make my last stand.

Harmless I said? You didn't see its eyes,
it's skeleton was showing, and it was covered in flies,
it was feral and mean, and around it's neck was draped
just like the movies, it was a vampires cape.

It's ugliness unnatural, and worst of all,
it's hideousness, a sign of Adam's fall.
I haven't long to live, it's get me real soon,
the calendar says, Tuesday's a full moon.

(chorus)
There's an undead opossum living in my home,
it's got me quite spooked and I'm afraid to roam,
so I sit in my kitchen, silver cross in my hand,
with wooden stakes and garlic, I'll make my last stand.

My sister came a callin' and said what's that smell?
It was all the garlic I got, to send the beast to hell.
She looked at me funny, thinking it was a game,
then said the possum's so cute, I think I'll give it a name.

So I got my courage up, in the full light of day,
I went to the back yard, to keep the beast at bay.
I went to scare it good, just like the book said,
it fell on it's side... but this one played UNdead!

(chorus)
There's an undead opossum living in my home,
it's got me quite spooked and I'm afraid to roam,
so I sit in my kitchen, silver cross in my hand,
with wooden stakes and garlic, I'll make my last stand.

Make my last stand...

Anybody seen the holy water?