2009 Onion Awards

For those of you who have never experienced the Onion Awards. These are highly coveted awards given every year in arbitrary categories chosen at random by a highly suspect respected panel of The Onion Skin News editors.

If 2009 had a road map, I would be all over it. As frankly as I can possibly be, I will NOT be sorry to see this decade pass away. Here is to 2010 and the twenty-teens!

Pet Awards:

• Identical Twins From Different Mother's Award: Lucy and TB. You can tell them apart in person, TB is, um, bigger boned.
• Most Likely To Sit Stubbornly In The Snow (3rd year in a row, sort of) Award: Zeke. Hanging out on the apartment deck railing during an epic snow event? Not the smartest cat ever.
• Headbutting Award: Jinx. It's so cute.
  
• Ever Since He Was A Kitten Award. Danny. Okay, so only by a technicality is a two year old child not a pet, but he sometimes acts like a cat.
  
• Gratefulness Award: This is the first entire year in quite a while that I have not had to put a beloved pet down.
  

People Awards:

• Eye Blinding Monochromatic Outfit Award: Jenny. Her outfit at the Jitterbugs Pink Party gave new meaning to over the top.
  
• Magic Carpet Blanket Award: Merinda. She went for a ride on a blanket at Halloween and didn't stop until it was legendary.
• There Was No Cheating Involved Award: Me. I took what was on the ballots and tabulated them up for the Chili Throwdown, volunteers now being accepted to tabulate next years event.
• Hairstyle of the Year: Kevin. I like the long curly look ... feral.
  
• Totally Approve Award. Kaleb. Rachel is a winner, keep her.
• Camera Kicker Award: Sarah S. My camera strap broke, I didn't catch it in time, but brilliantly stuck my leg out to prevent the camera from falling to the ground more than a few inches ... just as Sarah swung her leg through while walking and kicked it 20 feet down the cement trail.
  
• Toughest Job Award: Lisa. I really wouldn't want to be on that customer service line.
  
• Employment Prerequisite Quote of the Year: Ben R, who said "I am a D.J., teach guitar, and am in a rock band. Drinking isn't just expected, it's desirable." (quote more or less accurate).
• We'll Cry In Our Bears Beers Together: Me, Frank, and Joe. Our team has just looked bad.
  
• More Cowbell Award: Bethany at Troy and Merinda's Halloween party.
• Subway Commando Award: Jillian. Move back already.
• Persistence Pays Off Award: Me. VK finally admits I'm her boyfriend.
  
• The Wrong Directional School Award: Joe. That's Southern Illinois, not any other.
  
• Put That *@#!* Camera Down Until I'm Ready Award: Brianne. I don't have any idea what she's complaining about.
• Invisible Dance Partner Award: Maeg. Vampires don't show up on film.
  
• Making Ukuleles Safe Everywhere Award: Becky. She makes her soft voice and ukulele command attention at her shows.
  
• Names of the Year: Sarah and Ben. I'll leave it up to the reader to determine which one I am talking about, it's the second year in a row, but the same people didn't win this year.
• Surprise Central Award: Kat. You just don't know what's next.
• Did She Move Away Or Not Award: Liz. I'm still confused, I'm sure she said she left, but I see her more ofter than some of my Omaha friends.
  
• Need A Frickin' Laser, Almost Award: Corinn. She has a hat with a killer whale on it.
• Audrey Hepburn Lookalike Award: Sarah H. She showed up at Cowtown looking tres elegante.
  
• Knows What A Man Really Wants Award: Lee. She makes some tasty treats, it must run in the family.
• Hale and Hearty Award: Mark. Looks 'well preserved' for a man of 108 years old.
  
• Mushiness Award: Keith and Jenny. This title has been stolen from Matt and Vivian.

Dance Awards:

• Welcome Back Award: Robin. I think she is going more often than I am to JNO.
• Event of the Year: Cowtown Jamborama. Was there any doubt? Yes, Cowtown Jamborama is my Facebook friend.
• You Can Get Paid For This Award: Me and Maeg. We got our first paid teaching gig!
  
• Michael Jackson Memorial Dance Award: Doing the 'Thriller' dance at Merinda's Halloween Party.
  
• Surprise Dance Fun Award: Me, Troy, Merinda, Maeg, Dan, and Margaret. We got paid to dance at a private party, to the Prairie Cats.
• Non-Swing Dance Award: The Hula dance at Jenny and Becky's Luau party.
  
• Long Awaited Dance Space Award: The opening of the Nothnagel basement in February.
  

Moments Awards:

• Best 21st Birthday Since My Motorcycling Adventure Award. Ben C. for turning 21 and Merinda for turning a interesting night into an unforgettable one ... unless you were the one drinking.
• Wine Tasting Don't Drive Award: Matt and Vivian. Too bad no one lives in walking distance to a Hy-Vee any longer.
• Best Birthday Party Award: Venche. At Soaring Wings Winery, perfect weather and great jazz.
• Most Creative Party Idea: Matt and Vivian. The cheese party was creative and fun.
  
• I Didn't Do It Award: Me. My character at the latest installment of Troy and Merinda's murder mystery parties wasn't the villain, in fact more like the hero.
• Beat The Heat Award: 108F outside? No problem, go camping at Fremont Lakes and stay in the water for four hours straight.
  
• I Knew He'd End Up In Jail Award: Me. I was arrested and sent to jail during a fish fry in a complete misunderstanding. At least the cop was cute.
• Can We Throw Your Couch Off Your Deck Award: Matt. It turned out to be much easier than moving down stairs.
  
• Largest Sushi Ever Award: Me. Kaleb had a sushi making birthday party and I got carried away.
  
• Memorial Stadium Construction and Destruction Award: Building gingerbread houses at Jenny and Becky's Christmas party and then knocking them over with marshmallows.
  
• Blood Is Thicker Than Water Award: Seeing my brothers after a fifteen year break. This big brother can still whoop up on them.
• Best Day Alone: Me taking a short road trip down to Platte River State Park and surrounding areas.
• Best Day Trip: Me and VK going to Ponca State Park. The closest I've been to South Dakota in a while.
  
• Too Long Award: Me and my birthday. Inspired by Jillian, I tried to do too much, maybe two events would have sufficed.
  
• Iron Pinata Award: Donna (Vivian's Mom). The pinata she made for Vivian's birthday party busted the stick in half, twice.
  
• Yes It Really Exists Award: Me. I have found 1st street in Omaha.
• Longest Goodbye Award: Jillian. She stretched out her send off to NYC to at least five events.
  
• I Finally Got Your Birthday Right Award: Jen. December 11. Ha!
• Camper Van Beethoven Interpretive Dance Award: The Shoveler's Bowling Outing.
• Who's That Girl Award: Maeg. Yes, I know that she was a friend of Happy's, but seriously who was that girl at your party?
• There's No Pot Of Gold Award: A rainbow came out of the sky and landed on the hood of my car, yes, I got a picture.
  

Gaming Awards:

• Game Domination of the Year Award: Ben C. One night in an eight person game of Shadow Hunters, with all of his allies (The Shadows) dead already, all three Hunters at nearly full health, and himself down to one hit point, Ben came back and won the game.
• Cylon Werewolf Award: CJ. He's always one of the two.
• Long Suffering Video Gamer Award: Troy. For some reason, Troy's friends (me included) seem to think it's entertaining to watch him play and comment on his new and creative ways of dying.
• Darren Sproles Fantasy Football Gold Award: Darren Sproles. Thank you Darren.
  
• The 'Sure You Like Gaming' Award: Becky S. Yep, I see your name on the e-mails, but I don't see your face at the game nights.
• Way To Sacrifice Yourself Award: Me. Playing a two cop / two mafia game of "Mafia", I outed Hugh on the first day of the game.
  

Photo Awards:

Out of my 3612 pictures I uploaded in 2009, these 20 pictures are my favorites and/or most memorables from my camera ... it was tough to narrow down!:

These ones are, in my opinion, my best pictures of the year:

I am really looking forward to great 2010!