Exciting Times... Power Equipment

There it is, brand new, just out of the box, my new lawn mower. 6.5hp, 21" blade, mulch or bag, SELF-PROPELLED, and on sale.

Many of you probably heard that I bent the blade on my old mower and was having trouble getting it off so I could bend it back or replace it. This is as close to a impulse buy as I get, I suppose. As I drove to Menards to purchase the tools to get the blade off, I considered that my old mower had several issues, an engine with a serious case of post-purchase engineering just to keep it running, a cracked deck, a loose muffler, missing safety devices, and a pull starter that likes to break twice a year. I set a price in my mind for a mid-brand self-propelled mower, and there it was, $50 less than the price I had figured. So I put the tools back, and bought the mower.

Naturally I had to try it out right away. It works fine and was easy to put together. The self-propelled feature made it a whole lot lighter going up the hill.

A Good (All) Nights Sleep

This wasn't the first time that I had done this on my new schedule, but it may have been the most satisfying. After work I got some fast food, answered one email, turned the phone off, and headed to bed... at 6:20pm, and was out. I did get woken up by a headache around 10, but I was back asleep around 11.

I had another amazing dream during the first part of the sleep. The basic plot was I was on a vacation to somewhere, when all of a sudden every plane in the air was forced to land, we ended up with about 100 other jet liners at a military base in Peru. No one knew what was going on, but evidentily it wasn't good for the entire northern hemisphere, because the Peruvian military disappeared shortly thereafter to prepare for something. All the airliners took the opportunity to leave, and in a hurry, we barely got off the ground and did some fancy roller coaster manuvuers to avoid buildings and other ground based objects. We landed again at some secret base on an island in the pacific, got just enough fuel, and headed to New Zealand (which was going to be a safe haven). Evidently we were the only plane to make it to New Zealand, and there was much rejoicing. Lots of drama, the acting was great, good special effects, and the cinematography was spectacular; I give it 3.5 out of 4 stars.

The second part of the sleep was fairly dreamless, which, although not as exciting as a cool dream, is good too.

Bad Attitude, Happy Guy

I've been suffering from a bad attitude the last week or so. Strangely enough, however, I am sitting here writing this with a big smile on my face, because I am so happy and thankful about my life. What a freak.

One of the things that makes me feel alive is when I see people putting contradictory and complex feelings and/or desires together and helping them, or sometimes helplessly watching them try to make sense of it all. I know I have a thoughtful talent for it, although I also know people sometimes figure I'm all frosting, no cake, so not so many get to see that part of me.

I admit, it is not normal for me to see (recognize) this occurring in me, although I am sure it happens. I am happy that instead of ignoring it or trying to fix it, I am taking my own general guidance and just letting it be, and trying to make sense of it... getting to the root issue, rather than applying new curtains to the bad attitude "window"... treat the disease instead of the symptoms, what a novel idea.

I have a fair idea of what some of the root causes are, and one is that struggle with esteem. In general, my 'self' esteem is fairly good, I like myself. The esteem issues I have are the ones where I am unsure whether I believe I will be accepted by other people in general, or more to the point caring about being accepted by the population in general. At the same time I want to be loved and accepted by everyone, I have no desire to have because of how badly I would be compromised by the demands of the world... I don't want to be stamped into a mold and told what is normal. This ain't my first rodeo with this issue, and it won't be my last, I'm sure, but I don't like it holding me back from being fulfilled as a person and as a contributing member of society.

The other issues involved are not necessarily for public consumption (see the above paragraph). Until I get it figured out, you'll see me with a smile on my face and a bad attitude lurking somewhere behind.

Wednesday Improv

Check this out for a Wednesday night activity!

Improv classes on the cheap.

A few notes about cars, thunderstorms, and open sunroofs

Actually I probably don't need to say much more on the subject other than "wet butt".