There have been a spate of personality tests showing on my usual circuit of blogs, so I have decided to produce my own IQ test. Answer each question honestly, if no answer appears correct, choose the one that most closely matches what you are wearing. Scoring is at the end, please post your score at the end with your name, or if you are too embarrassed, post it with the name of someone you don't like. The test is not timed, but if it takes longer than 20 minutes for you to complete, go and carefully pour yourself another glass of whatever it is you are drinking and subtract one point at the end for each minute in excess of twenty you take.
1) if the square root of -1 is an imaginary number, then pi is equal to:
2) you are asleep in your bed at 2am and the phone rings, your reaction is:
a. why is work calling me AGAIN!
b. yeah baby!
c. not ANOTHER booty call.
d. commissioner gordon must need my help
3) on a typical saturday night you:
a. catch up on sleep you missed during the week
b. hang out with friends in a bar and hope to get some digits
c. have a nice dinner, dancing, and ...
d. you would like to answer, but you can't recall what you've done for the last 15 saturdays
4) you are home alone, you are probably:
a. fully dressed.
b. wandering around in your pj's or undies.
c. hanging out with the windows open in your birthday suit.
d. looking for any piece of clothing that doesn't smell too bad.
5) you are having toaster strudel, with the frosting you:
a. carefully and evenly spread it with a knife
b. make smiley faces and 'swear' words like *%#^*
c. you recreate Van Gogh's 'Sunflowers' on one and Wood's "American Gothic on the other.
d. you squirt it at random, and then swear you see the Virgin Mary, and try to sell it on eBay.
6) you hear a juicy new conspiracy theory about the war against terrorism, your reaction is:
a. you scoff, our president is doing a fine job.
b. you consider it carefully, trying to look for a connection to Rasputin's writings.
c. conspiracy theory? those people do whatever they want right in front of us without regard for the law.
d. is Reagan still the president?
7) a friend is in the hospital, you:
a. send a hand-written card and flowers, they don't want to be bothered with visitors.
b. go up and visit with flowers and gossip about your friends.
c. show up with contraband candy and sit quietly and listen to their thoughts and fears.
d. find out about it three weeks later from your mom.
8) your most common English usage error is:
a. to, too, and two, they all sound alike, who can keep track?
b. irregardless of what you might think, I pride myself on making no mistakes.
c. flammable and inflammable ... what's up with that?
d. irony and ironing.
9) day is to calendar as wheel is to:
a. I don't get it.
c. Car? Who makes this stuff up?
10) your friend is having a birthday, you get them:
a. a petrified piece of toaster strudel with an image of the Virgin Mary you found on eBay.
b. a gift card from their favorite store.
c. an indulgence that they wouldn't buy for themselves, like a bottle of expensive liqueur.
d. bail money.
Give yourself the following number of points for each answer:
8 points for each 'a'
12 points for each 'b'
16 points for each 'c'
4 points for each 'd'
and add it up, we'll wait for you to get a calculator
see below for your total:
145 and up: you are a genius! you are smart, funny, and gosh darn it, people like you.
119-144: you are above average, your main feature is using your brain too much, shut it off and don't over-think everything.
81-118: you are average, you are almost smart, almost funny, and gosh darn it, people almost like you.
80: if you got exactly 80, man do you need a life.
79 and below: you're not too bright, but people want to party with you.