27 February 2007

Proud friend - me!

I have been going to Bible study on Monday night with Great Adventures Ministries. It's good fellowship, dinner at 6:30, singing at 7:30, and then study until 9:00. Last night there was a special treat, justsmilechild performed one of her own songs. She is amazing! It was a honor to be there.
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Sure it's a bit blurry, but I had to be somewhat discreet with the camera, I was warned beforehand.

She had posted the lyrics on her blog, so I had them half memorized before she took the stage. I took a video from my phone, but you can hear me singing with her. Duh on me.

26 February 2007

Really weird dream

I think I set a record for oddity in my dreams last night.

I was living in a ground level apartment, and hanging out with my friends when a news flash came on the tv about some bad weather and to take shelter. Well it turned out it wasn't bad weather, it was an attack. As I peered out the slats of the blinds, I saw an airplane flying slowly overhead, and then drop a bomb over the city.

It exploded nearby with a large flash of light and a mushroom shaped poof above it. I dove for cover, and when I popped back up to see the damage, there was no crater, but instead a pulsating five story tall blob of ... mashed potatoes. They had a slightly green tint, and the potato peels were in the mix. It moved slowly, crushing houses and cars in it's path. Occasionally small blobs would fly off or were ejected of the potato pile and hit a person, then they were infected.

You could tell someone was infected because they had a bright green forked tongue on top of their regular tongue.

I made a mad dash for my car right before my apartment building was crushed. As I got to the parking lot, a policeman was there, ticketing and towing cars for being parked illegally, he was not infected, but obviously didn't know that a pulsating pile of potatoes was going pound him to a pulp. I convinced him not to ticket me, and drove off quickly, but didn't get anywhere because of the traffic.

I abandoned the car and was chased by some of the infected people ... no wait, chased isn't the right word. They didn't act intelligently or maliciously, they just kind of ambled around like purposeless potato zombies. I did witness them touching an uninfected person, who then became infected. I climbed up to the top of some ductwork, and watched a battle below.

Two uninfected people were trying to shoot two infected people to stop them. The mashed potato infection cause them to be very difficult to kill, because it was just like shooting a pile of potatoes, not much vital to hit. Eventually after a ridiculous amount of bullets, the two infected potato people dropped to the ground, and were no longer infected. The two people shooting started to talk about using a 120 volt house electricity to kill the potato people, and I started to come down and help with the plan ...

Then Viv texted me, and I woke up! Arg!

25 February 2007

Game (and taco) Night!

Vivian and Jenny Jitterbug were gracious enough host a game night, complete with great tacos and wonderful cookies. Also it was the world premire of the Onion Boy shirt. Without any further ado, the visual evidence please:
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Proud parent Vivian is so happy that one of her children is making new friends, and if not new friends, at least new shoulders to lean on.

Onion Boy - Cornstalker
This is the shirt that I had made after Cornstalker drew me in his web comic wearing it... life imitates art.

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Okay, if you are in the right half of the picture, smile. If you are on the left half, don't.

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Now I remember why I came.

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I've always said Viv was special, now you can all see why, she is special, maybe like 3 / $1.00.

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This picture is much more amusing since I am not the subject of "The Look".

You can see all 11 photos in my set here: Game & Taco Night

I thought I took a lot more pictures, this was only about half the party. Soon after this there was the worlds shortest game ever of UNO Attack, won by that cheater Jenny Jitterbug who forced me to trade hands when I had just one card. Then there was a well watched (team) game of Jenga (I love to watch, hate to play), which was one by the ladies.

I like the looks on everyones faces. *no sound*

There was a game of Apples to Apples that I was cheating at, evidently, because when I got home, I had several cards in my back pocket.

This was followed by the most interesting game of all called outside/inside snowball fight. Some of the boys went outside to sled down the embankment, but it ended up snowballs being chucked at the apartment and inside. When it ended it took six of us about ten minutes to clean it all up.

Snowball wall - Cornstalker
Say, are those things supposed to be on walls like that?

Taking fire - Cornstalker
You want me to open this door and see what the weather is like?

We played a game called Whoonu, and no, I don't think it was named by ReportWriter. We played twice. I liked it, it's not set up for a really big crowd, but it was fun. I won the first game because, as Venche said "I'm lucky." (okay, so that's not exactly what she said, but...)

Thanks to the lovely hostesses for moving the party up earlier to avoid the worst of the storm, still, people got stuck there, and the drive home *censored*. Once I got on the interstate I was okay, but getting out of the girls neighborhood was not pretty.

I will be stealing pictures as they get posted :-)

For other versions of these events click:
Cornstalker

To see other images of these events click:
Cornstalker Photos
Cornstalker Video

Thanks to Cornstalker for several pictures!
This is edit #12.

22 February 2007

Free to good home

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Unopened (thank goodness), free to good home, one 40oz jar of Great Value Creamy Peanut Butter. Previous owner slightly confused by "Best if used by" date, believes it should say "NEVER".

20 February 2007

News Flash!

2007phone10.jpgOmaha, Nebraska (OBNN) - A South Omaha woman was cornered and subdued today by a herd of goats at the Henry Doorly Zoo when she was found to be carrying contraband food into the petting zoo area. According to eyewitnesses, the woman received a slice of bread from her companion to feed to the goats, but the couple failed to heed the "No food or drink" sign on the gate. The goats worked quickly to confiscate the offending bread. The only comment from the woman was reportedly; "Ew, goat slobber."

19 February 2007

My fifteen minutes, cartoon style v0002

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Whoa! Maybe being a famous cartoon character isn't all it's cracked up to be. In fact since I can't tell my cartoon self that Lisa (the chick I am dancing with) is an evil robot, I might end up having something cracked, like my cartoon head ... at least cartoon Cliff will have a good cartoon photo of it.

Thanks to the super-talented Cornstalker, and his web comic, Cortland. Read it daily ... or more like three times a week when it's posted.

Winner of the February 19, 2002 Web Award for most use of the word cartoon in one blog posting.

18 February 2007

Forget about it

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I have a clean car. No cars are allowed within 500ft of me while I am driving. All roads must be cleaned and dried ahead of me. No person may approach within 10ft without putting on a clean suit. No thinking about my car and dirty thoughts within the same :15 stretch of time. No snow or rain for the next week. All UV rays must have proper paperwork if they approach within 25ft of the car. In other words, keep away. Thanks and have a nice day.

17 February 2007

Whining about the weather ... cat style

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Zeke wants to know what the heck is going on here ... "This is not my beautiful grass."

Whining about the weather

Yes, next week will be a veritable heat wave, with temps in the 40°F range for highs all week. Crap, it has been so cold for so long.

I want to golf.

I want to dance at Lindy in the Park & Jazz on the Green.

I want to hang out in the Old Market.

I want to eat ice cream and have it cool me off.

... and I want to do it now!

15 February 2007

What am I drinking?

Water?

14 February 2007

Didn't Capone do something on this day???

Happy Valentine's Day!

I will be accepting flowers from now until next Valentine's Day, at which time, this offer will renew for another year.

13 February 2007

Phoenix Bound

I found the picture for this post in my iPhoto, I had titled it "Hi". The irony of this is that this post is about 'Goodbye'.

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Hello World!

This was taken in September of 2004, probably on the 12th. Mo and I had just starting seeing each other then ... a short and tumultuous romance that led to real intimacy later as friends. No one I have encountered in my post-divorce life has had such an ability to get my raw emotions to surface. I don't know why, and I'm not saying I enjoyed it, occasionally however, her casual comments could have me upset in a flash.

Her influence on my life is fairly tangible, I didn't care for the way I ended up treating her, and it caused me to change my whole outlook on what it meant to treat someone with respect ... learning which continues today (see a couple posts back). There were several other changes that were influenced too. Our friendship grew later on, and we were able to learn about each other in a surprising way. Our friendship has become very supportive, and I have learned what it is like to have someone know you will be there for them, it is a privilege.

Okay, so it's not like she is dead, she is moving to Phoenix within a couple weeks. New job, new apartment, new life, already set up and ready to go. She'll be back for Cowtown 2007, and I look forward to dancing with her then.

The great majority of the time, I would tend to say that moving away, and trading in your current life for a new one isn't a solution that works ... however, sometimes a change in scenery is just the ticket. You go with my blessings and love Monique.

Forget Friday the 13th, it's Tuesday the 13th to worry about

Okay, so it's Tuesday the 13th, no big deal, nothing to worry about.

AAAAAHHH!

I had such a nice end to yesterday. Getting my behind to Bible study and making new friends there. Then a long talk with a friend on the phone on the way home. Into bed by 2200 (that's 10:00pm to those of you 24hr clock-challenged people out there) and asleep shortly afterwards. Then the clock went and struck midnight!

AAAAAHHH!

I woke up about 0145 (that's 1:45am to you... nevermind) and slept fitfully until the alarm went off at 0411. Went and started the car, checked for school closings, none (we can wear jeans when the weather is bad enough to close the schools), and got ready. Then the adventure started.

AAAAAHHH!

I get out to my car, it's still running, but now the wipers only work on high speed. The side streets haven't been plowed yet, and I can barely get up the little piddling hill on 16th street. Finally I get going, taking the Old Towne Bellevue route. Everyone and their brother is downtown plowing, I'm behind Joe Slow, and the guy snowblowing at city hall is seemingly aiming for my car. Wipers now just stop at whatever position I turn them off high. I make it onto 370 going west, whew, the roads aren't bad at all ... until I get to 25th street. Hey! City! County! State! Someone has to be responsible for plowing in between 25th and 42nd streets, then again, maybe it's nobody, because it sure wasn't plowed.

AAAAAHHH!

What was that? Oh, no big deal, it's just someone going by me at 70mph in a little car through foot deep drifts. He left at least three inches clearance between my car and their car. Finally I get to 42nd street, and someone else is responsible for this section of road and it is clear! I make good time until a yellow light leaves me sliding - stopping - sliding - stopping ... crap! Is that a flat tire? No, whew.

AAAAAHHH!

Finally I get to work and find out that after I left for work, they closed the schools. **edit: what this means is that I could have worn jeans to work.** Oh and once I turned off my car and restarted it, the wipers work just fine. Those of my regular (and irregular) readers who are teachers in the Omaha area, enjoy your day off. *grumbles*

Real pirates don't have this stuff happen to them.

11 February 2007

Bull dog

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08 February 2007

Invasion of the Birdy-Snatchers

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What the heck is going on here? There are 30 in this picture, and about a dozen more in the tree on the left, and about four dozen more in the tree in the picture. I saw at least five different breeds, American Robin, Grackle, Blue Jay, Northern Cardinal, and what appeared to me to be several Eastern Bluebirds ... yes, that would be an odd spot this time of year (or rare anytime), and I'm kind of going off of size on the identification of it.

Recently seen at my house

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Aw! Kitty & puppy!

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Stupid human trick. No, not my penguin pajama pants, the frozen towel... Seriously, I think this is just hilarious. Don't attempt in the middle of summer.

05 February 2007

The king is dead, long live the king...

Okay, so football is over for a while, and baseball hasn't started yet... what to do? What to do?

College basketball! What else could be as much fun as to confuse my dancing friends who don't know sports, and annoy my Creighton friends who are jealous because my college has a better mens basketball team.

Hence the new background. Go Saluki's!

04 February 2007

Super disappointment

Congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts for winning Super Bowl XLI. Maybe I'll do some analysis later, but probably not. The ads were mostly lame, no one takes chances anymore.

I would be lying to say I wasn't majorly disappointed, I am. Probably as disappointed as I have been since that ground ball went through Leon Durham's legs in 1984 or Steve Bartman because synonymous with the jinx. Fortunately, the sun will rise tomorrow and God still loves me (and you), unfortunately, I will be taking a lot of crap from coworkers. Thanks to Spanky and Mae for hosting a Super Party.

Thank you to the Chicago Bears for a great season and a fun fun ride. Bear down Chicago Bears, I will be rooting for you next year.

03 February 2007

To love is to serve

When I got into church on the last Sunday in January, I was delighted to see that the New Testament reading for the day was 1 Corinthians 13, a.k.a. faith, hope, and love. I thought to myself "cool, something I know and like, this should be relaxing..." The chortling I heard must have been God laughing at this thought and saying "not so fast, my friend."

The readings were read and Father Mark got up to talk, after the obligatory joke, the first words out of his mouth were "to love is to serve..." and of course (as priests like to do) he repeated it right away to make a point. "Oh crap!" I thought to my self, and I started to slide down the pew to avoid the lightening bolt that was heading my way. It was one of those times when I couldn't miss the message, there had been a little prep work done to open my mind (thanks justsmilechild) to what was said, but certainly I was not quite prepared for slap upside my head I got from those five words.

The following isn't news, one my biggest "faults" is being in love with myself and my spiritual gifts... i.e. taking pride in what I have been given rather than being humble that God has chosen to bless me with His gifts. Keeping a healthy self-esteem without tripping over the "you went to far" line is a struggle for me.

In hearing "to love is to serve..." I realized how I had been making too many of my relationships about me instead of serving the people I love, in particular my romantic interests. Maybe it's not because I'm so picky, i'm attracted to the wrong women (or not attracted to the right women), or I'm a poor communicator that I don't have anyone now, maybe it is because it has continued to be about me more than it really needed to be.

No surprise, but I've been provided with another growth opportunity, here's to growing into the shoes God wants me to wear.

editors note: this has been posted on the date it was written.

02 February 2007

Don't drive angry....

Almost as good as ReportWriters birthday:

Happy Groundhog Day!

As many of you have heard from me, the movie Groundhog Day (yes, I've seen it) was filmed in and around Woodstock, IL, the town where I went to high school.

Happy Birthday ReportWriter!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, the below lovely lady is having a birthday on February 2nd. All should celebrate by avoiding goat rodeos, driving jeeps, and watching Grey's Anatomy.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

01 February 2007

Random Thoughts v0003

Aqua Teen Hunger Farce
I like the show, but this is a little silly all around.
- A promotion is run for an adult television show is run featuring blinking signs giving passersby the finger. The device features exposed wires and batteries. Did someone think about this before hand? Oh, and the company owning the show (Turner Broadcasting) called it a "guerrilla marketing campaign".
- According to Turner Broadcasting, the devices have been in place for two to three weeks. All of a sudden, the city of Boston goes into a panic, thinks they are bombs or some such terrorist devices, and shuts down bridges and subways. Did they just notice them?
- Evidently Turner did not notify the city of Boston that they were their devices until after 5:00pm, even though it had been in the news (um, hello CNN is a Turner company) all day.
- So the city goes and arrests the people who put up the displays, who were legitimately in the employ of a marketing company, and charge them with a felony. Hey, it's not the guys at the bottom, go arrest Ted Turner.

Phone Etiquette
Did you ever notice when you are sitting in your cube and you get a phone call from someone in their cube who you can see, you have to look at each other during the whole conversation? What's up with that?

Global Cooling is a Serious Problem
If this weather keeps up around here, I am going to start burning things just to put more carbon in the air. It was 45F on Jan 26, and since then we have not been above freezing, and barely above 20F. With temps expected to stay below 20F through at least Feb 6, it looks like thermal socks will be all the rage around here.. When will sea levels start dropping because of all the ice locked up at the poles? Does my home owners insurance cover glacier damage?

Microsoft Vista Launches
Oh boy. Yawn.

I'm Looking for a Little BALance.
I am wanting to do a lot of practice for the upcoming Midwest Balboa Swing Fest. I think I do pure Bal just about as well as anyone else (who isn't paid to teach it) here in Omaha. I love the dance and can't wait to learn more and compete in the dance contests.

It Used to be Taxing Work
I did my taxes in :90 last Saturday with Turbo Tax. It used to take me longer to do my 1040EZ by hand. Now even with the house and investments, it's quick. Yes, I could have saved the $25 to do my taxes by hand, but it probably would have taken at least three times as long. Let's see, $25 or four to eight hours of frustration, that's an easy choice there.

That's Powerful Spicy
I had one of those annoying moments when you think you are going to sneeze, but you can't ... I thought of black pepper and I sneezed right away. Ah the power of peppertive thinking.