Something is changing.
It may just be really simple, I am cycling back into being more relaxed with myself... But I think it is more, that God has rebuilt or just plain made a new foundation for my life. It feels like I am a house, and I am being moved from my current spot to a new one in a beautiful spot.
It started while I was praying and God said “talk to Me”. I’ve been trying to talk to God rather than just praying at Him. I’ve wanted to do this since I began my ‘recovery’, but I’ve afraid of what He would say to me even though He has always been so gentle. I think deep down I’ve had this fear of having God talk to me and instead of hearing “you did this, this, this, and this wrong”, hearing “I love you.” I can stand the scolding, I don’t know how to deal with the love.
I’m not exactly the returning prodigal son, but I feel like I am moving into a house much closer to church.