16 April 2006

Having Faith?

I have noticed another head shaking change in my life lately, this one may be the oddest change I have experienced since (re)beginning of my relationship with God. So odd, I am not sure if I will be able to write this well.

It is true I am a fairly visual person, and I would still say I am. All of a sudden, I have no need to 'see' things.

I used to have to go and LOOK and make sure I did something, like make sure I closed the backdoor, or if something made a noise behind me, I would have to LOOK and see, even if I knew it was my dog moving around on the couch five feet behind me. I would have called this "my most OCD" character trait.

I am unsure how to translate this sudden change.

One way I have been looking at it is that I am finally able to trust myself, I don't need to doublecheck all of my work, I don't need to micromanage my inner children, I can just let myself go and let my memory serve me... yes, I shut off the computer, I remember doing it two minutes ago, I don't need to get up and check again. It seems as though there may be more to it, but it's just not processed through yet.

No comments: