10 October 2006

Change of season, change of, um, something that doesn’t rhyme with season

It happens every year at this time. After a summer of playing, I ‘go back to school’. Mostly this is just readjusting my life from a summer of having fun and being just minimally responsible. I’m back to taking care of my belongings and myself. All of a sudden my kitchen has been clean for a whole month, little projects in the round-tuit bin are getting pulled out and done, I am cooking at home, getting enough sleep, and I am in church every week.

Sometime around Memorial Day, my brain switches into teenager mode, and only comes out of it when I have to go to work. After Labor Day my inner adult begins to take back over and I settle back down. September tends to be a little rough for me, and this was no exception, I was crabby for a good part of the beginning of the month.

The problems with September and settling down were multiplied this year by my mother and step-father parting ways. The news is almost three weeks old now, and I’m not as upset as I was. I am very fond of my step-father, Hal, and of course I love my mom. My brain says there is no reason why I can’t keep in touch with both of them, and I will certainly try to do so. However, something below the surface of my swampy sub-conscious got churned up and got to the surface almost long enough to be identified.

Hey! I really like that metaphor for my thought patterns. I am visualizing my brain as a tree filled swamp, mostly full of life and greenery, but here in this one area there is a big clearing, all the trees are dead, there is no fauna to be seen, and some dread creature (thoughts) lurks below the murky surface waters. I see me standing at the edge of the clearing looking and wondering if I am strong enough to wrestle with this one. Am I? I am fairly sure I understand what issue lives in this area. Without dragging up details of my childhood, it has to do with a time during my early teens when my parents were separated. This seems to be the path I am taking, I guess if I am going to continue, I need to go through it, or find a way around it.

In other news. I somehow have deleted all of my Cowtown pictures off of both my work and home computers. Good thing I have them all online.

My volunteer tomatoes have produced fruit just in time for the first freeze. I guess I’ll be covering them tomorrow night.

1 comment:

Becky said...

ugh... being a grown up sucks.

i'm sorry to hear about your mom and stepdad. i didn't know, so it's news to me.

i hope things start settling in for you now that it's october and summer is only a little over seven months away... ;o)

And Mae's and my birthday are this week- that should be enough to cheer anyone up. :op