28 March 2005

Tummy Talking, Brain Not So Much

Actually this one is pretty much all title, no content, kind of like a Schwartzneger movie. Miriam suggested the title (sort of) but it kind of relates to work today.

I wasn't hungry all day long, finally around 2:00 pm I started to get kind of dizzy and nauseous. Kara-bean and Rhonda were telling me to "go eat!" so I did, and then I felt better.

Somewhere in here I could probably learn some lesson... if I could only figure it out.

24 March 2005


Cheese and rice I am stubborn, or at least a part of me is. I want to go to church, I think that church is good for me, i believe that life is lived best through community, rituals, and cycles, and yet here I sit on the Thursday before Easter and I have dug my heels in, stubbornly, and I am not going to go even though church starts in 30 minutes, and I have nothing else to do.

I have had way too much happen in my life to afford myself the luxury of debating the existence of God. For me God is fact. I believe the story of Jesus, it is frighteningly real to me, I suffer few delusions about my being 'good' or 'worthy', I know that when I stand before God for judgment, I will have no complaints if I am to be condemned. I know it can easily be me tortured, humiliated, and nailed on a cross... but someone has taken my place.

The mere contemplation of the Supreme allowing himself to become a human is mind boggling. God, 8 pounds 4 ounces, 19 1/4 inches, born to a carpenter and a maiden in a barn... nursing on Mary's breasts, helpless, and utterly relying on others. This is power? No, it is to be able to say to us that yes, God knows what we go through, what we are tempted by.

Did Jesus the man know the temptation of denying the Omnipotent?

Then at the other end of his life as a human. Completely aware of what would occur, yet setting aside all human aspirations for power, comfort, and desire, and setting us free from whatever binds us... now or ever after. Only God's love could be so contrary to any sort of human logic.

Many know my struggle with dogma vs. karma. Perhaps I would replace the word karma with grace (for my own convenience), I believe that grace is where I live and breathe and love and learn. Yet some of the greatest human minds EVER have poured their lives into prayerful contemplation of what should and shouldn't be done, yes, I know ever person has their slant, but out of respect, I think it important to contemplate and consider what the church says to be right and wrong.

Regardless of all these words, I am not at church, and I am still stubbornly refusing to show, through my actions, respect for the One who made me, and could unmake me ... and THAT is what ought to frighten me.

22 March 2005

Did I Really Volunteer

Yes, ladies and gentlemen who actually waste your valuable time reading my virtual rag... I volunteered to host an Easter Dinner. What am I thinking... I must be even crazier than I thought possible. I already have one commit, and one maybe could be, and I posted it on the Jitterbugs forum, so I'm in now, so all that's left is burning the food and going nuts.

I do remember what it was like to be far away from home when I was in the military over a holiday, and although they always tried to make the chow hall and the meal a pleasant experience, there was nothing quite like being over at someone's home... no matter how bad the cooking, and usually mine is not that bad. Keep watching this space to find out how many times the fire department showed up.

18 March 2005

Micheal Schiavo, Spineless Wimp

An open letter to Michael Schiavo, and I am NOT encouraging or approving of murder in this post.

Michael Schiavo you are a spineless wimp. I don't know how else to say this. (CNN coverage of story). Your story is an unfortunate one from any angle, brain damaged wife, who can only eat and drink via tube, you say that she would not want it to be this way. I believe this. I would not ever want to be in your position concerning a loved one.
But Mr Schiavo, if you believe in your conviction that your wife would be better off dead, why are the courts involved? You have had ample opportunity to make this so. Do you somehow feel by getting the state to pull her feeding tube that your hand will be free of any blood? Someone else doing your dirty work is just as wrong as doing it yourself.
What I read is that you have spent the last eight years engaging the courts. If what you believe is that Terri is suffering, either physically or through indignation to the point that she shouldn't be alive, and you have left her suffering for these eight years while you walk freely. Isn't that your point? You value your freedom more than any feelings of right or wrong in this situation.
I'm not in your shoes Mr. Schiavo, but if you had the courage to do what you say is right, you would have taken matters into your own hands. Your actions, or inactions say that you have no conviction about Terri living or dying, it is merely a matter of convenience to you for her to be gone.

What To Post

Okay, I admit it, I have zero to say... but that never stopped me from talking before, I doubt it will now. I did okay on the first day of the tourney, my bracket was 13/16. I only have one bet this year, with Kara for dinner next time the work group goes out. More amazingly, all of my sweet 16 teams are still left. Today will be the day though, I have three upsets predicted today, and one is a sweet 16 team. Of course I'll be at the dance when my Salukis play, so I won't be able to see them kick a little St Mary's butt.

update at 16:15... so I can't read a schedule. We played at 2:00pm and won already... naturally. Next victim, Oklahoma State on Sunday.

15 March 2005

A Cheesey Post

Okay, I've discovered that I cannot cook anything without cheese. I realized I had a problem when I was adding some shredded cheddar to my Eggo's a couple mornings ago... it wasn't very good. I think a mellower cheese would have been much better mix with the syrup, maybe a gouda. Seriously though, I can give up cheese anytime I want, just ask my cats Monterey Jack and Colby. They make cheese-less pizzas, i guess, somewhere... and it's not a law that you have to put cheese on your tacos, right? I was just thinking back to my article about cooking dinner for Tita and Monica... I didn't put cheese on my steamed green beans, well, not very much anyways... and that whole thing about being given a key to the state of Wisconsin, pure rumor. Nobody's ever caught me drinking nacho dip out of the container at the convenience store, sure there's been a couple close calls, but I've never been caught. So what if I can say cheese in more languages than I can say beer in... or hello. It's not a problem.

¿donde esta muy queso?

14 March 2005

Like, if You Know, You Already Knew

So, this woman I work with, let's call her Genni (because that is her name), drops this stunning revelation on us at work the other day "I like to play the Sims. I play it a lot." Okay, possible misquote aside, you are getting the gist of what was said. Rarely in my life have I heard a statement with so much Duh content.

Yes, I am semi-gossipping about a co-worker, and I said I wouldn't talk about work in this forum, but come-on, she laughed at herself. She did clarify that she likes to build houses and decorate them more than she likes TO CONTROL THE EVERY MOVEMENT *evil laugh* of her Sims. I am not sure if that is more or less damning... especially considering she was saying how she hates to create 'loser' Sims.

I would be curious to see what she names her Sims, but at least I know that the one she calls Eric would be one of the ones she tries to electrocute .

Fortunately, I Can Remain Unbiased

Well, it's NCAA tourney time again, and I'd like to present my completely unbiased, non-alma mater based point of view:

12 March 2005

It's NOT a Coincidence

Did you ever notice how Saturday and sleep both start with the letter S. No way with is a coincidence, it's a sign... I'd explain more, but I have to go take a nap.

10 March 2005

Check 'Em Out

Hey You! I got some links down there on the bottom right hand side, especially for you to ignore. Yeah, it's in the section marked "Links", that's right.
The first one Lots O' Pictures is a link to my yahoo photos page. Pretty much any pictures I take anymore get posted there at 320x240. They are available at a higher resolution should need it, all rights reserved by me. :-)
Next is the Omaha Jitterbugs web page. This is the swing dance group I'm pretty crazy about. It's not just that I have learned to enjoy swing dancing, I've met some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life there... full of fun, and it's good exercise.
Okay, so maybe Homestar can't actually count to three, but he is there in that spot. Sweet Cuppin Cakes will be known to fans to HSR, but you'll have to investigate on your own. Very, very funny stuff. Chances are you here me quoting something off the site about every third breath.
Last is the 88 Improv Group... available for your next birthday, church event, or bar mitzvah. They do improv (duh) in a sort of who's-line-is-it-anyway way, and the business end of the troupe is run by my friend Misty. Guaranteed to be funnier than this blog.

09 March 2005

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

This is from a response to a post by Billy on 03/09/05.

i'm with you billy... "duh".

i feel untruth comes from two sources, which really roll into one (the 2nd).

people lie when they want to protect something they have an investment in, financial, emotional, self-esteem, whatever. they want to hold onto what they have, or they perceive they have. you want to keep it, you do what you have to do to keep it.

basic untruth comes from a distrust in God. if we have complete faith, we do not worry about protecting what we 'own' because we realize that all we have, all we know, all we love is much safer in the hands of our Creator. much more so than anything we can do, say, or fabricate to protect it. what we have in our lives that is good is a blessing, it came from God, it belongs to God, whatever it is. it is ours because God wants to share with us.

the only things that actually belong to us are our choices. and in this being our only ownership, we are all equal.

i know that i have had times in my life when i have lied and misled. mostly to protect the illusion that i was a great guy or something like that. i know that people scoff at me now when i say that i'm not that nice a person, what is in me that is good, comes from God as a blessing, hard work, and my choices. this is the truth... and it has set me free.

08 March 2005


Okay, so the SO stands for significant other... if you are familiar with the Tita blog, you can probably figure out the FA pretty quickly. So Holly hasn't really been talking to me over the past few weeks, but she asked me to be patient... so I figured I was just waiting it out while she got ready for whatever it was. I walk to her desk today and she has this huge bouquet of freaking RED roses. My flowers I gave her were still there, but there looked so puny and insignificant, which is exactly how I felt when I saw them. She wouldn't answer when I said "Hey, those aren't from me..." which may have been a little on the passive-aggressive side, but still. Later she wanted to know why I wasn't talking to her... um...

It's my own fault, I broke all three of my rules with her, at once, and I really have no complaints. I just hate that being lonely feeling. :-(

So thank you to my supportive friends about this.

07 March 2005

The 2% Rule, part 0001H

Okay, for those of you who do not know what the 2% rule is: "you must be 2% smarter than the thing you are dealing with in order to work it". Today, I am NOT 2% smarter than the washing machine... which is somewhat odd, because usually, it is the dryer that confounds me, or occasionally, the toaster. You know that little button on the washer that says "cold / warm / hot", yep, it got me, a whole load of dark colors washed in hot water... maybe I should just throw in some bleach too.

and another rant:

Why is the windiest day of the week trash day?

06 March 2005

Dance, Part 0002H - AKA Too Old to Dance with Renae

Ugh. I am way too old to dance with Renae. I think that even when I was known for having tons of energy, I could not have kept up with her. She is like caffeine in human form. If this sounds like a bit of jealousy, I'm sure you've hit it right on the head. I would like it better if my body would wait until tomorrow to be sore, but no, I am already hurting, which means I'll be dying tomorrow... Yawn! Time to go.

05 March 2005

Wah! I'm Funny, My Blog Is Not :-(

Okay, so I'm whining about something it is not really a surprise to me, or probably anyone who knows me pretty well. I'm just not that funny in writing, except in rare flashes. I am thinking that I am trying to be both insightful and funny, and well, you know, succeeding at neither. On the other hand I think it is good therapy to write here, so continue I will. :-)

04 March 2005

Cat vs Printer?

Zeke & Sierra are quite fascinated by the printer. I wonder what makes it so.

03 March 2005

Naked Swordman!

Misty was telling me about this at work today: Naked Swordman!. I can only think that being a male, naked, and carrying a sword cannot result in anything good happening.

How Much Food Can Two Skinny College Girls Eat?

Last night was the last Bal-Swing lesson (I'll be in the next class too, but that's a different story). So I invited Monica & Tita over for dinner before the class. I made salad, linguini and sausage w/ marinara, garlic bread, and steamed green beans. I thought I made enough for about six servings (except for the beans)... gone. Okay, I finished off the last of the sausage and pasta today for lunch, and there is still some salad left, but holy batman. I guess I had forgotten what is was like to have a home cooked meal while in school or the military. I think the only reason anything was left was we had to leave for class so we could be 1/2 hour late. Tita & Mon, you are official members of the clean plate club. They loved Cherokee, Zeke, and Sierra, but only Tita would play with Mandy & Sis. I don't know how dogs do it, but Cherokee immediately began begging from Monica, but she wasn't sharing. The only question remaining is who is going to help with the dishes?

01 March 2005

Sammy? Moises? Addition by Subraction

Last I checked, in general, pitching and defense wins World Series. Yes, yes, I know you have to put runs on the board, but if you cannot stop the other guy, you won't win many games. For the past ten years or so, the Cubs have been Sammy's team, and they went as far as he and the offense could take them. For those of us who have been fans of the Cubs for a long time, we have seen a lot of teams built on offense, that could occasionally pitch. Quick name one starting pitcher for the Cubs in the 1980s. Okay, Maddux, Suttcliffe, and um, Steve Trout (okay, Eckersley was on the 84 team, but not a sober & focused one)? Quick name some offensive stars on the Cubs in the 1980's. Sandburg, Grace, Durham, Dawson, Dunston, Moreland, Davis, Walton, blah blah blah. There were some people who could really hit the ball. Why did the 84 & 89 teams not win? Too much Zonk, not enough Red Baron. As wonderful as Sammy was for a long stretch for the last few years... he could not get the Cubs to the World Series. If we go over the next five years, the reason we get there is named Wood, Prior, and Zambrano. There are no guarantees, the A's couldn't do it with Hudson, Mulder, and Zito, but certainly a middle of the road hitting club with three ace pitchers has a much better shot than a good hitting club with one ace and four whos? I have sat out in the bleachers enough to have a great deal of affection for Sammy, but you know, when it's done, it's done and time to move on. I boldly said when the Cubs drafted Prior, that 2004 would be the year they would be competitive, they made it in 2003. Yes 2004 was a bad year, seemingly what could go wrong, did go wrong, but that kind of disaster only happens once a century? Well 2005/6/7 could be the years when something else happens that hasn't in a century. I put my faith in Kerry, Mark, and Carlos.