03 July 2006

We are individuals, not members of a subgroup

My mother was a hippy. I was brought up by her to believe in the equality of every human being, regardless of whatever sub-group of people you or I want to attempt to shove them into or attempt to pull them out of. I have attempted to embrace this philosophy, with various degrees of success because I, like everyone else, am mostly only capable of seeing things through the eyes of my cultural upbringing and cultural choices. Generally, it works out to this, if I like you, it's because I like you, take it personally, if I don't like you, well take that personally too... it's not because you are ____ (you fill in the blank).

I love you my friends, not because you are ______, but instead because I value you as human beings. I am not going to like all your choices, and I may not be able to publicly or privately support you in them, but I am not going to abandon you if it becomes convenient to do so.

So, what's my point? A couple of things I have seen from otherwise intelligent, rational human beings lately drives me CRAZY!

Blindly supporting your best friend can be risky enough. I certainly hope none of you do that for me, and I'm not even sure I like the explanation "oh, that's just Eric". If I am being a moron, than I am being a moron, and I need you, my friends, to help reign me in. I hope I do this for you.

So if this is risky behavior, why would anyone publicly throw their support behind someone they A) don't know, B) has questionable situation, motivation & reputation, and C) is in obvious crisis? Especially when you work in a field that day one of your training had to be about staying rational about people in C? Not guilty is not the same as innocent, and no one is/was.

Hating half the human race? This pendulum swings both ways, because I've seen it from a number of people on either side. Heterosexual men who hate women and heterosexual women who hate men. What is the freakin' issue? Some of you evidently aren't aware of this, but we CAN all be friends. I think it especially odd because I have seen this type of behavior from people who would absolutely rip me to shreds if I made it clear that I didn't like gay men because I felt threatened, yet they feel so threatened that they are unable to maintain or desire (I don't know) a relationship (lover, friend, acquaintance, person at the checkout counter) with a person of the opposite sex.

You won't find a fulfilling relationship (lover, friend, acquaintance, person at the checkout counter) with someone of the opposite sex while you are running away from every one of them you meet.

Seriously I could go on for hours about a bunch of things, but really it boils treating everyone as an individual and realizing your issues are YOURS, not everyone wants to share them.

Thanks in advance for any well thought out responses.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hmm, not at all sure that this counts as a "well thought out response", but I wanted to say something. First of all, good on ya for having the guts to say this outloud, whether aimed at a micro- or macro-cosm of the world. It's Truth, with a fairly large T, and I respect the hell out of it. Second, these are maddening things that you are describing, and I don't blame you for your frustration. No one, not even our closest friends, deserve absolute support regardless of their actions, everyone is responsible for themselves, and if you're acting like a dumbass, you should be able to trust your friends to tell you this, because you probably don't know it. As far as hating a certain gender, I couldn't agree more. Course, this is coming from someone who has about 5 times more guy friends than girl. Members of the opposite sex balance us out, and I am convinced that we not only enjoy their company, but we NEED their company. They hold up a mirror to let us see the opposite of what we are sometimes, and other times help us to see similarities that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. I need my girls, but I couldn't live without my boys. Plus boys smell good. Unless you've been swing dancing at JNO with no air conditioning. Then I'd imagine you stink to high heaven. ;-)